Random Growlings

Wherein our intrepid editor doth hold forth on all manner of things, in a short form, some few of which actually make sense.


Look, if you're Gorean because you dress up in a toga on weekends, have decorated your basement like a paga tavern and have some friends over once a year so that you can have fake sword fights and demand that some bored housewife actually sit at your feet and call you master; you're not.

Bear's Gorean Aphorism #6: If you do not own your life yourself, in toto, you can then never surrender it to another and become a Gorean slave.

Bear's Gorean Aphorism #7: You cannot begin to own the totality of yourself at age 18, 19 or 20.

Bear's Gorean Aphorism #8: No, you are not the exception to #7.

I have little to no interest in anything "BDSM", but since age seven I have been, and still remain, a proud Chicago Cubs fan. Does this make me a masochist?

In my case, I had lived Gorean and was in a Free Companionship for 11 years before I even had the thought to take a slave. I have seen some online "collar" a "slave" not even 11 minutes after their decision to try to live Gorean.

My mother named me Jeffrey, but for what amounts to my whole adult life, I have been known as Bear. I appended "ofAr" on the end of the nick when I first went online, to see if there were any other Gorean men or women online who would recognize the reference. Eventually, I found one who did. During that time, however, I was repeatedly asked if I were from Arkansas.

Those who would welcome new people who are interested in things Gorean with open arms; offering to "teach" or "mentor" or put them "under their protection" without first making completely sure that these people have a firm grasp of what they will be giving up and getting themselves into are doing them, and this community, a grievous disservice.

Hey! Mr. "Gorean"! If you cannot define what "honor" is so that it applies as a measurement equally to all, then just stop using the concept as a club to attempt to batter others.

Oh! And if you cannot determine the difference for yourself between "honor" and Gorean caste codes; then. just. stop.

Fantasy is a wonderful thing, but I wonder how many of those potential "slaves bellies" online would still "burn" for you if they could see you right now; sitting at the keyboard in your underwear, smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer and scratching your balls while belching a lot?

I have a pet cat. When she wants out, she cries and I let her out. When she's hungry, she complains and I feed her. When her litter box is full, she howls and I see that it gets cleaned. Just the other day it hit me: who owns who?

Now c'mon, you didn't actually think that I cleaned the litter boxes around here, did you?

As always, I can be reached at BearofAr50 @ Gmail.com (Leave out the spaces)

*burp*

Bear's Bad Poetry Minute

What follows is a reprint of previous writings of mine that appeared in The Gorean Voice, which I co-created and served as editor for a few years. The webzine is long defunct, and the archives of the site are sadly incomplete, but it pleases me to present my thoughts then, to my audience here.

And at the end of my journey,

I stood and watched the sea,
"Come", whispered Thassa,
"Come sail away on me."

"For you I will be slave", she said.
"On me you will be free."
"Come", whispered Thassa,
Come sail away on me.

"I cannot", I answered softly,
"For I am not alone,
I have my land and holdings,
"From them I cannot roam".

And as the sea birds chattered,
and chased off to and fro,
I pondered all the reasons,
why it was I could not go.

While sweet Thassa murmured in my ears;
rolled up and kissed my feet,
I noticed behind, were missing,
my footsteps on the beach.

"You do not need to return", she said.
"You do not need the land."
"You do not need but what I can give,
come to me, and be my man."

"No," I answered softly,
"you do not understand."
"You could never be my slave,
And I, never, your man."

And at the end of my journey, 
I stand and watch the sea.
And lo, the mighty Thassa,
speaks, no more, to me.

Hmmm....

What follows is one of a long series of essays which I published under the heading of The Bear Bitch Project.  These essays were available for public consumption from roughly early 1998 until 2004. While most of the topics in some manner concern "online Gor" (and my subsequent disillusionment in it) I am pleased to present these essays to my current audience both as a matter of topical interest and as a historical touch-point.

From me to you, enjoy.


====================================================================


Neither cast ye your pearls before swine. 
- Mathew 7:6

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.
- Chuang-tzu 369-286 B.C.

Be Gorean or be gone! 
- Bear, 1996

The fatal futility of fact.
- Henry James The Spoils of Poynton

Everyone is not entitled to an opinion, everyone is entitled to an informed opinion.
- Harlan Ellison

I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older; Don't try to rewrite what has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
- Ogden Nash

Truth is the cry of all, but the game of the few.
- George Berkeley

Poor, dear God. Playing Idiot's Delight. The game that never means anything, and never ends.
- Robert Emmet Sherwood

Man, if you gotta ask you'll never know.
- Louis Armstrong

Say what you mean, mean what you say

(Preface 2011: We're in the home stretch now, folks. Hang on!)

(What follows is a reprint of a previous writing of mine that appeared in The Gorean Voice, which I co-created and served as editor for a few years or on my previous blog - The Bear Bitch Project. The webzine is long defunct, and the archives of the site are sadly incomplete, but it pleases me to present my thoughts then, to my audience here. As always, if you have a question or comment, use the e-mail link in my profile down there somewhere.)

"Say what you mean, and mean what you say."

A rather straightforward statement, indeed. I wonder what its originator meant?

It is obvious to anyone who has spent time on-line in general, or in "cyberGor" in particular, that the vast majority of people who areon-linee do not follow the above axiom. The widespread practice of pretending to be what you do not have the strength and courage to be has become the norm, and those who choose to speak out in defense of the philosophy are sure to be portrayed as "zealots" by those who do not want their duplicity and ambiguity exposed.

Frankly, I would rather be on the side of the "zealots", for at least they say what they mean, mean what they say and believe in and manifest what they claim to be.

Here are some gems, collected from my years on-line, from those girls who sought (or in many cases, did not seek but wanted to appear as having achieved) Gorean slave girl status. Read, chuckle and nod your head as you see things here that you have noted in your own interactions, but I ask you to think, as well, about that person who is playing role, pretending to be what they cannot be due to their own lack of a vital ingredient, and how sad that kind of life truly must be for them.

For they lack the courage to be even a zealot.

I wish you well.
=====================================================================
When the subbie says: "I know I am going to be punished for saying this, but..."

What she means is: "I do not have the courage, strength or intelligence to actually be a Gorean slave girl. I find that when I have a point to make, it is more important to me to make that point in a manner that satisfies me than it is to make it in a manner that is pleasing to those free peoples that I wish to address. This is my failure, and since I have failed previously, I find that I can repeat it often, as Gorean men and women no longer expect much out of me."

When the subbie says: "girl believes that Master has stepped outside his role as Gorean in making this post, ergo, girl has not replied as a Gorean slave."

What she means is: "I am playing the role of a Gorean slave girl with the doms and subs around me. That is to say, I pretend on-line to be a Gorean slave girl, as the pretense is all I can really manage to accomplish. I know that I lack the courage, intelligence and fortitude to actually manifest this philosophy into my life, and I recognize that I do not have a strong owner who demands that I do nor can he ever take me there. Indeed, the truth of the matter is, that I own him, he does not own me, and I flaunt the manner in which I speak to actual Gorean men and women to demonstrate this. I do this in public before you, exposing his weakness and his lies about his being Gorean, because inside myself I hate him for being so weak and ineffectual. Since this can therefore only be a game to me, I must work to prove that it is so to everyone else as well, and I can call a "time out" when I wish to step outside the role I am playing and be myself; arrogant, sarcastic, scathing and displeasing. This would be fun, if I were not so angry, frustrated and frightened."

When the subbie says: "Yes master, but..."

What she means is: "Okay, you are right. But you frighten me, all Gorean men do. It is imperative that I maintain some room to maneuver, some grey area where I can stake out some space to wiggle and make room to be displeasing, if I so choose. For if I do not, I will find myself painted into a philosophical corner by my own words, one in which then will leave me no choice but to behave like an actual Gorean slave girl does. I know that I am not strong enough to manifest that dynamic in my life, let alone even pretend to act that way all the time, and besides, what fun is it really to be submissive to a man when HE wishes me to, rather than only when I wish to be so?

When the subbie says: "Yes Master" [smiles]

What she means is: "I have chosen not to be displeasing in this instance, I have chosen not to fail once more, simply because there is something further I want from you or this venue, and I realize that if I press a Gorean man or women beyond the point that they are amused by me, I will be excluded from their presence. It is that presence, despite the fear and frustration it causes me, that I crave, for while I can find a hundred men on-line who would beg me to take their collar and whom then I might own instead, my belly yearns for the very few menon-linee who are truly Gorean, who are strong and who actually live this philosophy in their lives. That is why I keep returning to their channels, their boards, their venues. I yearn for the day that one would see some value in me and would permit me to be the Gorean slave I wish to be in my heart. For now, I will bite my tongue, and perhaps he will notice me and find me pleasing. Then later, when he is mine, I can use my feminine wiles to work to change and mold him into something more comfortable to me. You see, I have done this with all the other men who have "owned" me, and I do this now with my "master" (whom I would release in a moment, if I could), so why would an actual Gorean man be different than these other men?"

And finally,

When a Gorean slave girl says: "Yes Master."

What she means is: "Yes, Master."

The Truth is out there

Tal and greetings,

One of the most interesting magazines that I regularly read happens to be THE SKEPTICAL INQUIRER, the publication of The Committee For The Scientific Investigation Of Claims Of The Paranormal (www.csicop.org). Along with SKEPTIC magazine (a competing magazine), it is one of the most interesting publications that are aimed at scientifically examining claims of paranormality, weirdness and things that go bump in the night.

In the Jan/Feb 2001 issue, among articles exploring exorcism, the claims of chiropractors and herbal medicine proponents is the Psychic Vibrations column by Robert Sheaffer. This month Mr. Sheaffer writes about his trip to the Bay Area UFO Expo last August 26th and 27th.

Amongst the conspiracy theorists, self-professed channelers and what seems to be out and out crackpots, Mr. Sheaffer writes about something that caught my eye and might be interesting to those Goreans whose perception of reality may be skewed more to the "Art Bell" side of the galactic fence. ;0)

In his reaction to a lecture by David Jacobs, an "noted UFO abuctionist" speaking of his "abduction experience", he writes:

"The insectoid creatures, says Jacobs, are clearly in charge. Some people describe reptilians, although it is possible that this may be just another description of the praying mantis insectoid."

(insert cheap Sci-Fi music here)

It should be remembered that these people are as serious as they can be about such things, and apparently they are seeing giant praying mantises that are zooming around in space ships and these people are being abducted by them.

Sound familiar?

Look to the night skies, Goreans. The truth is out there.

;0)

With tongue firmly in his cheek,

Bear-

More on slave failure

(Introduction: 2011. This post has a slightly different history than others here. It was something that I wrote on the old Silk&Steel Gorean discussion board in a thread about slave failure. When I finally shut down the board, it was lost (the story behind all that, and my separation from the S&S "community" is something I will address in a post here before I finish and lock this blog, I promise). Recently on another discussion board the topic of slave failure was again brought up with questions directed specifically at me. I linked to my previous post here on the subject and, while that post details my thoughts, it is a short form of them. One poster, aggrieved for his own reasons, claimed that I advocated for a complete and perpetual community-wide rejection of a slave after her failure. He claimed that my position was that once a slave fails, she can never again be a slave. This was done, of course, to make the concept seem too radical to be feasible thereby allowing some people to try to avoid or escape entirely the responsibility for their own choices. As I've said, he has his own reasons to try to reject the idea of slave failure. Luckily for me and my sore typing hands (and to the great detriment of his argument) he re-posted the writings of mine which you can read below.


I believe the kids call this "self-pwnage". ;0)


In any case, I am indebted to him for doing so, for this essay lays out in some detail my own thoughts on slave failure, and serves as a rebuttal to those who - perhaps in trying to deny the failure that they themselves or their property has chosen - would mis-characterize my stance on the matter. 


So here, for your perusal, are more thoughts by Bear on slave failure.


Enjoy! )


There is never a good reason for a girl to fail. And there will NEVER be an excuse for a girl to do so.

Most times, when faced with the choice of leaving or facing harm at the hands of an out-of-control dom, she should leave without compunction for the truth is that she has already failed, her value has already been reduced and Gorean men will take that into account in the future in any dealings with her.

To reiterate: There is never a good reason for a slave to fail. The sad truth is most women out there who come into this lifestyle from online probably have failed, arm-in-arm with the vast number of posers, losers and idiots online pretending to be Gorean. It is rare to find one who has not, and when we do find them, those women we tend to keep around for a long time.

It is after that failure, when a girls value is judged, that her worth is determined. Men have many different yardsticks for that - as well they should. But we both know that in the end those who have failed and who continue to do so are seen more and more widely as valueless and often have to find refuge with weak men whose standards for ownership consist of little more than having something moist and wet between a girls legs.

Failure as we speak of it in this context is a very serious thing. It severely and forever affects a girls value, of course, but it does not have to be the end of all value. That decision is made by men, and they alone can make that decision (indeed, there are times when we just watch, blink, shake our heads and shrug as some of these repeated failures get collared over and over as they work their way down the ladder from the strong to the weak). What the girls have to realize is that they never, ever can forget nor walk away from that failure, that they never, ever will reach the potential value as a gorean slave that they could have had they not chosen to fail, and the failing will, inevitibly, close off some avenues, chances and possibilities that would have been open to them had they not chose to fail.

To my mind, it would have to be a very special girl who failed, whom I would take as my slave when there are literally hundreds of potential gorean slaves out there who have not, who would beg for a moment of a Gorean mans time. Once failure is chosen, it is easier to fail the next time. And the next. We all know examples of such girls.

Simply, there are no degrees of failure. There is simply failure, and that is a black and white choice a girl makes. It is that failure, and how it affects a girls value in the eyes of men, where the only chance remains for a failed slave to redeem some kind of measure of what she could have once been, had she chosen not to fail. If a Gorean man takes a moment of time to notice a failed slave, she should consider herself one of the luckiest women alive and work hard to provide that man proof of whatever value might remain in her.

There is never a good reason to fail, girls. This is serious business, giving your life to another, not some kind of twisted high-school romance fantasy. Put yourself in a position to fail; beg the collar of that Conan wanna-be online, take that "protection collar", mouth the words of surrender but dont really mean it, run and bolt when things get tough and you will have already failed as a gorean slave. Your actions will have repercussions and you will bear the responsibilities of them forever. The choice is always yours, indeed, it is the only choice you retain once you surrender - so you damn well better be sure you know whom you surrender to, no matter how long it takes.

I would point out that this is not "my position" on this so much as it seems to be the natural progression of the concept that we put forth as gorean slavery. It has to be this way, or what we profess to be gorean slavery in this society is in actuality something much, much less. Let me explain.

When a girl surrenders her life and becomes a Gorean slave, she does not do so "until I beg release" or "until I am no longer happy", or "until I feel it becomes too hard" or "until I am no longer challenged and fulfilled", or "until I " anything.

She does so forever, with one one choice remaining for her.

To fail.

If she does not surrender without conditions, then she has not surrendered, she has simply submitted. She has placed restrictions and conditions on her slavery, even if those restrictions are not given voice or agreed to, and that is simply not gorean slavery.

I have spoken out in public for years on the topic of making sure you know who that man you are handing your life over to is. I have warned and cautioned for years that there are repercussions for not taking the time to get to know the man one is supposedly giving ones life to - repercussions that will follow a girl for the rest of her life. I have spoken out for years that the gorean slavery we practice in this society is not a game, not a part-time thing to be tossed away when it no longer titillates, not something that is just a new way to play the junior high-school "I have a crush on you" games we all played when we were twelve and thirteen years old. I have told people for years that this is a dangerous, adult, alternative lifestyle and that it exacts a cost for living it - and for failing to do so.

--Bear of Ar, 12/9/00 3:58 pm

Are all kajira doormats?

(What follows is a reprint of a previous writing of mine that appeared in The Gorean Voice, which I co-created and served as editor for a few years or on my previous blog - The Bear Bitch Project. The webzine is long defunct, and the archives of the site are sadly incomplete, but it pleases me to present my thoughts then, to my audience here. As always, if you have a question or comment, use the e-mail link in my profile down there somewhere.)


Tal, all.

"All kajira are doormats."

Do you find this to be true?

A little story behind my question.

Last night in the S&S discussion channel, a man entered and made the above statement. In the subsequent short discussion (short, because he chose at that point to change his nick to what he was known by normally in Gorean channels - a rather infamous and pitiful individual, he once called himself "gorean", but now says that he is a "straight" BDSM 'leatherboy', who once on his web page has called a gay BDSM leatherboy his "master" - for his duplicity he earned a channel ban) he noted that all the kajira that he had met online and off were so. He noted he had never met a needier bunch of females (which he somehow equated, to them being "doormats"). All of this, of course, was meant in a derogatory fashion, as this fellow has made it clear that since he cannot fool anyone and pretend to be one online, he thinks that Gorean men and women do not exist.

Which got me to thinking.

First, obviously he has met few Gorean slaves, let alone kajira. With that, he obviously knows few Gorean men, or much about our philosophy (which, while obvious, accounts for much). The fact is that a Gorean slave is whatever her owner decides she is. I can understand how that can be very threatening to those men who, in some sad way, have a need for a domme/mommy figure to balance their lives, but then not every man can be Gorean.

But moreover, in thinking about this later, I came up with two thoughts.

First, the subs of vanilla BDSM and simple sexual fetishism (which this 'leatherboy' is a part of) would fit the descriptions of "doormats" a bit more snugly, I would think, than the typical Gorean slave.

For example, I have never seen a Gorean slave girl, online or off, used as a toilet, while I have seen subs so used in BDSM circles. I have never seen a Gorean slave girl used as an ashtray online or off, with the accompanying burns, as I have in BDSM circles. I have rarely seen a slave girl whipped for the simple "pleasure" of a Gorean man without an underlying motive of correction, while I have seen this kind of behaviour as a matter of course in every BDSM gathering I have ever attended. While it is true that the sub can call it off anytime she wishes by using her "safeword", it is that fact that makes them well fit the description of "doormat" (in that she has the ability to control the dom and stop his actions as she desires without repercussions) moreso than the women I know as Gorean slaves.

Secondy, it occurs to me in the years that I have lived and owned and trained women in the Gorean philosophy (going on 19 years now), that I have never seen a wounded girl, one who was a "doormat" succeed as a slave in any sense of the word. Subbie, yes, slave, no. There are examples all over online, of girls who sought "Gor" and Gorean men, thinking that such ownership entailed total control, thereby making their lives easier. These girls have crashed and burned in their pursuit of Gorean slavery, at times taking their (love) "Masters" with them. These men too, thought that they could own a girl, who in truth, did not own all of herself before she tried to surrender. These men have paid a price for it, and continue to do so. 

The truth is that it takes a secure, strong, intelligent, creative, stable, honest, self-sacrificing adult woman to even *consider* the path to be a Gorean slave. If all a girl wants is to be used as a "doormat", then she will quickly fail as a slave - as Zeb says, the Vector of Pleasure is pointing in the wrong direction. ;0)

So why do some, who know little about slaves and Gorean slaves in particular, think of them as "doormats"?

I suspect it comes back to the same reason some in the bdsm community (although it is not limited to just that one) dislike us before they even ever meet a Gorean man or woman. That reason is a simple matter of fear. 

If we are real, if we do what we say, if we live by the codes, traditions and philosophy we do, then these people have to look at themselves and what they do, and make a value judgement - and they do not like what they see. We threaten them by simply being what they claim to be: "Masters" if you will, owners of anothers life - without the safewords, timeouts, and switching that goes on as a matter of course in their hobby.

Are all kajira doormats?

A kajira is whatever her owner says she will be. But you will find most Gorean slave girls at the feet of men, rather than under them - in stark contrast to what many of those who in their fear of us speak ill of what we are, would say.

I wish you well, friends.

Bear-