Bear's Confession

Hello everyone.

I have something I wish to tell you about.

It's a rather startling revelation, and not one I reveal to the general reading public in a light manner.

In the past, I have earned some small reputation in dealing sternly with issues when discussing living Gorean in this society. While not every issue we face is black and white, I've found that most are not too far away in the grey shades of things. If you have read this blog before, you know that I have spoken, and written, about the role and place of the male and the female in our lives.

To be sure, like most Goreans, male dominance and female submissiveness are a cornerstone of a certain part of my existence.

But I am here to confess to you all today something you might find shocking.

(Bear takes a deep breath)

I have knelt before a female.


Not only have I knelt, I have done so with both knees.


Hell, both knees and my palms flat on the floor.


I must tell you! Hear me!


When she cries, I rise and come to see what the issue is!


When she eats, I am there to feed her!


So just who is this mystery female who has changed me and brought me so low as to admit what I have here today?


What overwhelming beauty must she possess, what wiles must she practice, that I've become enraptured enough of her to act as I do?


It can no longer be hidden!


I now present to you all loyal readers, so that you too can understand my situation, a photo of the only female whom I have ever knelt before, in my adult life.

(She is so special that you may all go right ahead and be completely jealous of me now, I know I would if I were you)

This is my Bella Luna.
Eight year old female silver tabby.
I'm in love. ;0)

Mutdaria - The Director's Cut

(Almost done...)


Hello everyone,

I'm sure by now that most of you have seen the new channels/rooms popping up on IRC and AOL and Powwow and Yahoo and such places, called MUTANTS. They seem to be proliferating, and multiplying at a rapid pace, and as such they piqued my interest. So, the other night, I went to one of the MUTANT channels on IRC.

I have to tell you, I had a great time. ;0)

You see, everything in there is based on the X-Men, a comic book published by Marvel Publishing for many years. In my very younger years, I was a rabid collector of these comics, and devoured each one every month that it came out. Sure, at times the stories were a bit far-fetched and the writing could be pulpy, but it made up for it both in action and the tight-fitting and revealing costumes the female heros wore. Every month, it seemed the X-Men saved the world from this or that menace (as an aside, in case you were curious, I sold my collection years ago. For a huge profit, of course.) I would have to admit to being a bit of an X-Men expert; flora, fauna, etc. ;0)

To cover it quickly, the X-Men are mutants, each have a specific power (one guy shoots laser-like rays from his eyes, another can control the weather, another looks like a big black dog and is incredibly agile and strong, that sort of thing). The stories would tell, amongst all the saving of the world stuff, the tale of these people and how they sought to fit into and gain respect in society at large, even though they were mutants and not like everyone else. Some of the stories were very poignant, with issues addressing love, marriage, bigotry, intolerance and hatred included in the story lines.

So I went to the MUTANT channel, and noticed immediately that everyone there was talking and interacting as if they were actually a Mutant!! They all claimed to be born mutant, and to possess mutant powers. I was confused for a bit, until someone privately messaged me and told me that what I had found was one big *game*, a game they play called MUTDARIA. They said I could play too, if I created a MUTANT character, and powers to go with him, and a spiffy name that refers to what he is and does.

So I became Scorpio, the Mutant scorpion/man (actually, I originally wanted to be IGUANAMAN, but I think the whole idea of a 14-foot tongue made some of the women there nervous, and I was advised against it). I had a stinger in my mutant tail, which I could use paralyze evil-doers. I brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "Shake your booty"! ;0)

We had a grand time! We defeated MagnMoron, the Master of the country of Bation, in his evil plot to control the universe. I found out, in playing out the storyline that was created by the players there, that the pretend people in the city at large hated us because we were mutants (But, I ask you, who could not help but love a large hairy guy with a big stinger on his butt?) So we had to keep a low profile, and do good deeds without being seen most times. The storyline did not deal too much with the whole "hate the mutant" thing, or much of the love, honor or personal growth that I saw in the comics, as there is really no *action* in that. We busted up Magnameters fortress in Bation and then returned to our secret headquarters concealed in the natural caverns underneath a naugahyde factory in Cleveland. There, we partied hardy. In fact, LadyPantherPuss and I kind of ... sort of... I mean... well, you know. ;0)

I looked up finally (that is, my "mun" looked up, that is to say me, Bear-, here in my home) and saw it was 4am! I had been playing MUTDARIA for about 6 hours! How time flew when we were defeating evil and postulating personal possibilities with Lady PantherPuss! I was *tired*! I thanked all my new friends for the game (LadyPantherPuss's "mun" is named Rachel, she told me so and gave me her ICQ) and left the channel.

As I was logging off, I was messaged by someone named Steve - some fellow I had never spoken to before - who asked me if I had been in MUTDARIA playing MUTANTS. I told him that I had, that I had had a great time, and I started to tell him about Scorpio, just the usual things, like hit points, attack points, armour class and stuff. I mean, I was *proud* of Scorpio!

Then he asked me something I found rather silly. I'll share it, because I am still laughing about it tonight. ;0)

He asked me if I knew that there were people out in this society, men and women who in their lives try to embody the ethos expressed in the X-MEN comics? He told me that these people believe in the MUTANT philosophy of tolerance, of rising above ones differences to see one another as people and not "mutants vs. non-mutants", of doing the right things, making hard choices to *help* others, even if that could end up costing you personally, and of being responsible and striving for personal growth. He told me that these things make up a difficult philosophy to live by, in this society, where it is "every-man for himself" and "do unto others before they can do unto you".

He told me that there were others, a small number to be sure, but others who have taken this MUTANT philosophy into their lives and have found themselves bettered by it. It fulfills them, he said, it is what they are - they even call themselves MUTANTS - although none of them have super powers, or can do the things that are written about in the fiction of the comic books. He was quick to point that out, and to tell
me of the difference between the *philosophy* of the MUTANTS, and the stories in the comics, with such things as mutant powers, and inter-dimensional shifts, and such.

I finally broke in and asked him why he was telling me all this?

He replied that he wanted me to know that there were people out there who really *were* MUTANTS, in that they lived to the higher standard that the MUTANT philosophy demands, that these people exist, they meet offline, they help their community and strive to educate others about how - if more people understood MUTANTISM, the world might be a better place.

I again asked him why he was telling me all this?

He replied that he saw me in the MUTDARIA game, and knew that I was new. He thought that because my first exposure to MUTANTISM was a silly game (his words), I might not be able then to take seriously the idea that there are people out there who try to live the philosophy and improve their lives and the lives of others through it.

I told him he was right.

I told him that MUTANTISM is just a game. That there are no MUTANTS, for goodness sake, and that he lived in a fantasy world!

I mean, c'mon! Who would get a philosophy of life out of a comic book?! Absurd! 

Besides, I *ENJOYED* playing Scorpio (and doing the scorpion butt-tango with LadyPantherPuss), and it was just a *game* anyway, and who the heck could take seriously or be harmed by a game?

He tried to tell me something about him understanding that it is hard to believe, as the philosophy does come from comic books, but the fact that people play MUTANTS as a game - that in and of itself makes it much, much harder to get people to understand and give credence to the fact that actual adults live by the philosophy expressed in the comics, and are working to make themselves and others fulfilled, and...

And I don't know what else. At that point, I put him on ignore.

What an *asshole*! Trying to ruin my fun and my new friends fun, just because they try to live as MUTANTS in this society? I mean, c'mon. Let's be real! They do not have super-powers, they do not have a secret hideout under a naugahyde factory in Cleveland... and they call themselves MUTANTS???

If you can't do that, HOW can you be a MUTANT?

I mean, c'mon!

Besides, I want to play Scorpio, again!

I mean, it's all a comic book, isn't it?

Well?

Isn't it?

Bear- 


Hello everyone.

I am revisiting this thread because of some of the private responses I have recieved about it. In writing it, I was rather subtle (Bear? Subtle?) about my point, holding off till the end and playing it straight throughout. In doing so, I think that some may have gotten the wrong impression.

Let me correct it here.

There are no MUTANT channels. No place called MUTDARIA, no game called MUTANTS, no fellow named STEVE who messaged me. I have never played a game called MUTANTS. For those who know me, I sprinkled a number of clues about the piece to let them in on the joke (Aside from the name of the realm and the villians name, I despise ICQ with a passion. I get enough messages as it is, when I log onto IRC, I do not need people messaging me when I am doing other work on the net).

To make my point clear: There is nothing wrong with roleplaying games. I have played them in my youth (not to date myself, but I was around when D&D was born, bought the first white box set, wrote uncredited for some of the third-party publishers, and won awards at regional conventions for my roleplaying. Heck, I was even ranked in the RPGA). I have enjoyed roleplaying games thoroughly. They have a place, in a fantasy setting.

But *any* game, *any* pasttime which causes harm to others - as playing Gor as a game does to the reputation of this lifestyle - should weigh like a stone on those who insist on playing them despite that fact.

Sadly, as we all know, personal responsibility is a thing in short supply, in those who live in this society.

In the story, I placed myself in the gamers spot, of course, and made up another fellow who proceeded to educate *me* about the harm the MUTDARIA game was causing. I used all the typical gamer excuses and then simply did what they do - I kept on playing and ignored the harm, since I could not refute the fact that the game did harm them, and besides, Scorpio was such a "cool character". ;0)

My thanks to all who responded in my mail and here, who got it. For those who did not, thats okay too; sometimes the point gets made plainly, later, and hopefully it will give more people pause to think about the harm their selfish actions cause.

I wish you all well.

Too strong to be a Gorean slave?

"She is too strong to be a Gorean slave."

I have seen this sentiment expressed from time to time, either directly or implied, over the years I have interacted with others who have explored living Gorean in this society. In every case it was tossed out by the one who used to own the girl, after she failed. Often, upon questioning, the thought was noted to have originated with the girl who failed herself. I have seen it used as both an excuse and as a rationalization - both to little effect on the eventual outcome.

Can a woman be too "strong" to be a Gorean slave?

The notion obviously presupposes that in order to *actually* surrender ones life to another, that one must be weak, or incomplete, or in some way damaged (the "door mat", "automaton" and "mindless zombie" syndrome/excuse). This is, of course, just a handy smoke screen to toss out by the girl who just shown by her actions that she could not, despite her best effort, actually surrender to a man. It seeks to denigrate and swipe at those few women who prove that they can, by implying that there is something wrong with them that they can actually give more than lip-service to the notion of surrender. It is also handy for the man, allowing him a manner of getting off the hook, so to speak, for his inability to recognise that what he had was in no way a Gorean slave, and his inability therefore to control what should have been his property but what in reality was nothing more than a sub eventually topping a dominant man.

So can a woman be too strong to be a Gorean slave?

Strength is the single most important trait a woman can have, if she seeks to be a Gorean slave. Nothing, and I mean nothing is more important than that is in her efforts to live a surrendered life to a Gorean man. It is the fuel, so to speak, for everything that she does, all the decisions that she makes, and probably the most obvious that we online see, the things that she "says".

A strong girl who seeks to be a Gorean slave does not give in to the temptation to rage at a free person or free peoples. She has the strength to resist calling them names if they upset her and even if they are being "unfair" to her. She does not allow her frustration at the difficulty of trying to live Gorean in a society that rejects many of its tenets to cause her to be displeasing, and to fail. She does not allow her lonliness to cause her to lash out, when she realizes that she may never belong to a Gorean man due to the small numbers of actual Gorean men in existance.

(Note that I, in no way said that the girl denies her feelings. Simply that her strength allows her to deny them to be used as the excuse to cause her to be displeasing.)

In short, she has the strength to succeed, not fail. She uses her strength to fuel her surrender, to get her over the rough times, to keep her on the right path and not as an excuse for her inability to do anything deeper than simply submit when it pleases her to do so.

As I have told literally thousands of girls: "Being a Gorean slave is the hardest easy thing you will ever do in your life." ;0)

Some simply do not have the strength to achieve it. No man can give it to them nor can they demand it of them. It is why there are, in truth, very few women who can become Gorean slaves in our society. It is why some women have value as Gorean slaves, and others are valueless in that same regard.

That is why those scant few can succeed, and why the rest are left with nothing but excuses, rationalizations and denial.

I wish you well.

Bear-

After watching two subbies hiss and spit in public

Earlier this week I came across a discussion in a Gorean venue on FetLife (don't ask) where a weak dom masquerading as a Gorean man said:


"The best kajirae I have ever known, where the same one who would hiss and claw at any male who they sensed was less than dominant, for daring to speak with them while there Master was away.(sic)"


The thought obviously excited him. He and I eventually had some exchanges through the text of that venue. It did not end well.  ;0)


However, what it did also do was remind me of this piece, written years ago when I was becoming disillusioned with IRC and wandering out to various other venues to see what they held in the way of things Gorean and Gorean interaction.


It did not end well, either. ;0)


As always, I can be reached at the email on my bio.


Enjoy.


=======================================




Bear pulls up a chair... 

... grabs his bowl of popcorn and a diet Coke and checks his scorecard to see which of the two subbies these are, who they belong to, what their won-loss record is, if they like to scratch at the eyes or if they are the hair-pulling type, and if this is a set time or a to-the-death match.

(Bear munches)

You know, you powwow "masters" have convinced me! You really have! I am going to give up all this "Gorean" nonsense that I have lived for nearly the last two decades and sit here with you, and watch your subbies hiss and spit and bitch and piss and moan at one another - all done with your "permission" of course. Man, how foolish I was to waste all my time trying to be a Gorean man, when such entertainment was right here in front of me?

Why did it never occur to me before, that in order to be a man, all I need an out-of-control subbie brat or two who have no idea how to behave in public, to represent me! 

Duh!

I will go to powwow tonight, find me a girl and tell her to hate someone - then I'll set her loose to cause a big ol' ruckus - all so those "Gorean" guys on IRC can see how much I *really* own my slave. Sheeee-it. I hate those guys! They think they are so smart, they think they are so much "More Gorean Than Me"(tm), well, I'll shew them! I will find me the stoopidest, meenest, cruelest, ugliest, most evil slave gurl on powwow t'night and beg 'er to take my collur! Then, when she comes out in public all hissing, scratching, biting, insultin', and spewing bile, I kin stand ready to deefend her if any of them there "goreens" dare to say anythin' bad about her. Wy not? She is speeking wit my purmisshun! I luv that shee is strong eeuff to do egsactly what she wants, whin shee wants to. Maybee, if I pik me a gud won, and I beg her enuf, she will gimme some syber-hed when she feels lahk it?

(Bear wipes away a stray tear)

Gosh, I dunt eevun knoe her yet and I luv her alreedy!

(Bear scratches his suddenly long, sloping, thick upper brow)

Go gulrz go! Smash 'em! Crash 'em! Wee wanna see blud! Stele Caje Match! Yeh! Wee knos that yu is goreen slaav gurls and wee luvs you! We is so prode of how yu repreesent us MAZTIRS heer for all to see! It wurms the cockels of are harts! It maks us *REEL MEN*. REEL MAZTIRS!

To hek with those gorreens, you giys heer cunvinsed me! This is soo much moor fun than being goreen and alot les wurk!

(Bear munches on the popcorn and looks for the remote control, so he can see what if there are any tits on Cinemax, when they break here for a commercial)

*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*...

Two Caste stories - one joke

A CASTE STORY #1

Four men; a Warrior, a Physician, a Merchant and a Builder were drinking in a tavern. Having imbibed for most of the night, they proceeded to have an argument about the importance of the various castes in their city. It went something like this:

The Builder said: "Were it not for my caste, there would be no city, for my caste designs and sees to the building of such things as cities.

The Physician said: "Were it not for my caste, the city could not be completed, for my caste treats and heals the sickness and injuries of those who build the city."

The Merchant said: "Were it not for my caste, there would have nothing to build with, for my caste sells such materials so that others may build cities."

The Warrior said: "Were it not for my caste, you would soon be forced from your city, for my caste defends its walls with our lives."

With that, all four men looked at one another for a moment and as one, and uttered a word:

"Brother".


A CASTE STORY #2

Five men, a Warrior, a Physician, a Merchant a Builder and an Initiate were drinking in a tavern. Having imbibed for most of the night, they proceeded to have an argument about the importance of the various castes in their city. It went something like this:

The Builder said: "Were it not for my caste, there would be no city, for my caste designs and sees to the building of such things as cities.

The Physician said: "Were it not for my caste, the city could not be completed, for my caste treats and heals the sickness and injuries of those who build the city."

The Merchant said: "Were it not for my caste, there would have nothing to build with, for my caste sells such materials so that others may build cities."

The Warrior said: "Were it not for my caste, you would soon be forced from your city, for my caste defends its walls with our lives."

With that, all four men looked as one at the Initiate, who said:

"Barkeep! More paga!".

I wish you well.

Bear-

Let us eat and drink...

5/20/2011


"Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die." - 1 Corinthians 15:32

Tal and greetings to everyone reading,

Never thought that I'd see a biblical passage quoted here on this blog, but it is apt as I will explain in a moment. It's been a hell of a week in my household. My Free Companion is recovering from her second surgery. Her mobility is extremely limited. I am in pre-testing for my surgery to repair my back, which will soon keep my off of my feet for several weeks. My girl is working to take care of us both, at this point.


In thinking about what to post this week and having several things on the burner, but not yet ready for mass consumption, I stumbled across an article which made my choice much easier. I don't have to make a choice. It won't matter, you see, because it's all over on Saturday. No blog post this week. Yeah, been nice knowing you, too.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/20/us/20bcjames.html
(copy, paste and read)


So I leave you to read the article and to ponder at the short duration of the rest of your lives, while I, just in case, continue to care for my Free Companion, prepare for my own situation and try to remember how to party like it's 1999.


Be back next Friday.


I think.


Bear-

"Why don't you leave the gamers alone?!"

(May 2011. Blogger is finally back up and we are getting close to the finish, here. This essay below was first written around the turn of the century. As always, enjoy.)




What follows is my reply to one of the characters/screen names of a Yahooian who tried to claim on a chat-board to a slave that a group of people using gor as a roleplaying venue had no effect at all on those few of us who actually live as gorean men and women in this society. Sadly, despite how weak that opinion is, it is a rather safe and comfortable one, and his opinion is in the majority with those who use the word "gorean" in relation to themselves online. My reply is complete and speaks for itself and after all this time I have only one thing to add to it.

I've come to the painful realization that unless you actually do try to live as a gorean man or woman in this society and unless "gor" means more to you than chat boards, playing characters, and chatting up lonely housewives claiming to be "kajira" then you probably will never understand why those of us who do live this do take offense when someone plays "Dungeons and Dragons with tits" with the philosophy and facets of the culture we strive to direct our lives by.

Rest assured that I understand that the vast majority of those who have read and would ever read this fall into the former category. For those people who do and still loudly go about the net claiming to be "gorean" I say: Shame on you, you are the gamers. And for the few people whom I love, who also have bent the truth in order to "get along" with others and to "grow the community" and who have surrendered to this P.C. mindset I say: I still love you, although you cost the ideal that I have dedicated my life to dearly. I still love you -- but I weep for us both.


Tal folks,

Here we are again, this comes up about once every two months. 

"Why can't you leave the gamers alone, *I* game in Shadowrun /Vampyre/Dungeons and Dragons and it harms no one..."

Okay, I will bite again, this time. I will respond to you and once more explain *WHY* this kind of conduct harms the community. Remember, the issue is not about the *right* to game, but what *harm* it causes us as a community. Once you get the gamers and their apologists to *see* that, then it is up to the individuals sense of honor to dictate what they do.

And we have all seen, online at least, what kind of a sense of honor that is.

"Laugh? Cry? Why do either? Nothing they're doing has anything to do with you."

Obviously, you are incorrect in this. People pretending to be what we are, and pubilically posting issues concerning Gorean philosophy and tradition within the rules for a "Fantasy Roleplaying" game, has a lot to do with us.

They're not hurting the community.

That is total and utter bullshit. By reducing the concept of "Gor" to a roleplaying game, they make it that much harder - by each person who stumbles on them - for us to gain any amount of initial respect or understanding from someone who then subsequently comes across us.

"Oh yeah, Goreans, that's that 'Fantasy Roleplaying' thing I saw the rules for on the net..."

While he many not have had this exact experience, I suggest you read the threads of Ox here recently (Note: This refers to a man who entered a lifestyle chat venue in the guise of a character -- this was what he thought "gor" was all about since all he ever saw on the net was a role-playing game) for an example.

They're not deceiving anyone.

Again, utter bullshit. They are deceiving anyone who stumbles on them without knowing that this is a rich, demanding and adult alternative lifestyle into thinking it is just a version of Dungeons and Dragons with tits and ass.

There is no potential for misunderstandings leading to pain.

No? How many girls come crying to you, each week, because their "masters" turn out to be boys who become enamored of the game, and do not realize until too late that it is and becomes more than that to some? How many weep in front of you, their hearts crumbling, because their "master", the man who begged them to take a collar, was actually married and playing a "character", but his wife now found out, and they have not heard from him in weeks? How many do you have to console, deal with, and try to put them back on the path to healing when they are attacked by people on and offline, because "Gor" is just a "fantasy game" played by "computer geeks"? 

When you have some of those experiences and have dedicated a large part of your life to living in and serving this lifestyle community on and offline, then you can talk about how there is "no potential for misunderstandings leading to pain" and not look foolish.

They're not even calling themselves or the world they're playing in Gorean.

Obviously, you did not read the site. I quote:

"The world is based mostly on John Norman’s series about Gor, with some generic fantasy elements."


And.

"Other notes. Desecration of the homestone(sic) calls for an immediate death penalty. Use of magic in public is forbidden."

Now you tell me... on second thought, don't. Just read the site before you put fingers to keys next time.

They are honest roleplayers, playing a roleplaying game in a world that resembles one we know. Yes, the world of Tragoth has a lot of features taken from the novels Norman wrote... so what?

See replies above.

>>>These people are not coming into Gorean lifestyle chat rooms.

My being Gorean does not start and end in "Gorean lifestyle chat rooms", thanks. I *LIVE* this lifestyle and *IDENTIFY* myself on and offline as doing so. Unlike some then, I and others like me *obviously* have an issue with those who would have people who have never considered the concept of being Gorean see it as a "Fantasy Roleplaying" game.

They are playing a game, with each other, according to mutually agreed-to and understood rules, each knowing exactly what is roleplay and what is real. 

They indicate on the site, very little that is "real". It is all a game, nowhere do they speak of anything else. Perhaps we read two different sites?

They're having fun, and harming no-one.

For the third time, utter bullshit. They might not be harming many, since there are few goreans in existance, but I assure you that they are certainly harming the few Gorean men and women who struggle for a chance to walk their path in this society with head held high.

Are they Gorean? They would laugh at the question, and answer "I'm playing a character in Tragoth." So what? No harm, no foul.

No harm no foul till those who look at "gor" find that place, and paint us all with the same brush. Doesn't happen? Walk into some bdsm channels (or any other, for that matter) and tell them that you are Gorean and see what they think of it - I have watched that opinion change over the last few years, all because of the posers online (which these people are not) and the gamers who by their very game rob us of the chance to be seen honestly and openly for what we are.

If you take a moment to read through the page, it becomes obvious that they're not even playing online- this is a tabletop roleplaying group, which meets in person for a weekly gaming seesion, which happens to have posted their background information on the web so that all members of the group will have easy access to it.

Which will then show up, eventually, on search engines listing "Gor", "John Norman", "Kajira", "slave", etc.

As I noted to you before, my being Gorean does not stop and start online, so where they play is immmaterial. The simple fact is that because they put information on the web that depicts "gor" as a "Fantasy Roleplaying" game, they do the small community of *actual* Gorean men and women who exist, harm.

In short: save your laughter, tears, scorn, or mockery for those who are actually deserving of them, girl. And take a second look, next time.

I would suggest also that you take a second look. These people are as deserving as many, and a bit less than most. While they do not prey on others while posing as Gorean (that we know of), they do harm this community by taking some of the concepts and traditions we hold dear, and using them in a manner that will cause us as Gorean men and women, hardship and pain.

There is no amount of wishing, wiggling, or sand deep enough to stick your head into, that will change that simple fact.

Bear-