Saturday, August 28, 2010

Reach out and...

Since I've been asked, several times, in other places I have recently taken to hanging out online I'll post my email here as well (Blogger hides it behind the user profile).

You can reach me at BearofAr50 (at)

Questions, comments, critical notions, elaborate praise, slanderous mouthings and suggestions written on the back of twenty-dollar bills all accepted.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Quickie FAQ: How can I tell if he is serious about living Gorean?

Q: This girl has met a man online who wishes to collar her. His name is Master[redacted] and he says he trains in the Gorean manner and that this girl would move in with him to be his 24/7 slave. How can this slave know he is Gorean?

A: The short answer is that he probably is not. Even within your three sentences, there are several  indicators that immediately raise red flags to those who know what to look for. Let's take them one by one.

1.) "This girl has met a man online who wishes to collar her."

This may well be true. That is to say, he may certainly wish to do so. But how do you know? Did he state this to you? If so, why? Think long ands hard about that conversation. Was he asking for  your permission to open negotiations between the two of you? Was he, or has he been, "wooing" you online with attention, compliments, even gifts? No Gorean man would even leave the possibility that he was doing such things in doubt. While a Gorean man may have interest in you, he understands that it is he who brings value to the "relationship", and that while you may be pleasing, you are nothing but a potential slave, and easily replaced. He does not ever ask to be your "Master", instead, if he is what he claims and has an interest in you, it eventually comes to the point that you have no choice but to beg to be his slave. Beware girl, of online doms spouting Gorean platitudes who are looking for nothing more than a girlfriend to fill their lonely lives. Listen to your head, and not to your heart or what lies between your thighs and you would better serve your interests.

And one final thought to take with you: If your entire Gorean interaction has been solely online, it is very possible that you have as yet never met an actual Gorean man.

2.) "His name is Master[redacted] and he says he trains in the Gorean mannner and that this girl would move in with him to be his 24/7 slave.

This sentence is literally oozing with the stink of a dom pretending to be Gorean. First, no Gorean man online will name himself, nor refer to himself as "Master" anything. Why? No Gorean man would think to define himself to others simply in terms of his property. How many "DogOwnerBill"s do you see online? Or "MaytagmodelMHWE950Frank"s? Would you confuse them with a Gorean man?

Understand that the use of the term "Master" or "Mastr" online is a plea from a dom to any subbies he might interact with out there to treat him as a dom, and to please not to be too rough on him. A Gorean man has no need to advertise that he is dominant, it simply is so, whether he chooses to own slaves or not.

There is no "Gorean manner" of training. That is a load of online rubbish. Each slave to be trained is trained individually, as must be. While the potential kajira might well be made to learn traditional Gorean manners of speech and action, rest assured that there is no "kajira manual" that allows anyone to train in "the Gorean manner". Again, this kind of thing is a desperate plea from a dom to submissives to take him seriously.

Finally, you might well end up moving in with him to be his 24/7 slave at some point, but how does he even know at this point in your online conversations that you would be pleasing to him? Does he know that you fart when you are asleep? That you have an irrational fear of spiders? How does he know that you hold any value for him at all? Be wary of such desires stated early in communications, girl. It may well again be a dom, with pretty Gorean words, who is desperately lonely to have someone in his life. So desperate, in fact, that he will at best delude himself as to what he is, or at worst, lie to you about it.

Final Thought:
No Gorean man will ask or beg you to become his property, nor will he define himself through you. Understand that the vast majority of those online are simply lonely and in various measures only pretending to be Gorean to find a "mate" that appeals to them. This could well include yourself, girl. Do some introspection and examine your current motivations and desires. Be honest with yourself, and be happy. For the absolute worst thing that could happen is that on your search to end your life's lonliness, you actually do worm your way into the collar of a Gorean man. You will not be there long, and there will be nothing but heartache involved for you.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The First Kill

What follows is a reprint of previous writings of mine that appeared in The Gorean Voice, which I co-created and served as editor for a few years. The webzine is long defunct, and the archives of the site are sadly incomplete, but it pleases me to present my thoughts then, to my audience here.

In my part of the world, February is a time of cold, snow and chill blowing winds. For some reason, I have to fight the strong urge to just give up and sleep until around April. One of the ways I keep myself awake and the blood moving is to go visiting online. I wander very rarely, but always seem to find interesting things when I do.

Aside from keeping myself awake, these rare trips allow me to go from place to place and chat with people whom for various reasons I would not otherwise come in contact. I do this for the same reason I came online years ago and identified myself as a Gorean lifestyler, that is, to find others who also live this philosophy. They are rare, very rare, but they do exist.

This short adventure happened in an IRC channel, but it could have happened almost anywhere online where there are people who put the word "gorean" in an identifiable position in regards to themselves, while at the same time disregarding many of the basic tenets of the philosophy, gather.

It started out nicely enough, chatting with the "owner" of the channel. I was impressed that this was one of the few places online where "slaves" did not hold ops (ops, or operator privileges, for our non-irc friends, is like being a bouncer in a bar, you have the ability to kick people out of the channel, and if need be, ban them from returning for a time or forever -- needless to say, holding "ops" power over a free person, no matter the rationale, is not something an actual Gorean slave would ever consider doing). I began to chat privately with the owner of the channel when she found out that I was *that* Bear, and she related to me what I thought was a sad tale.

It seems her sister, a lady who used to visit the IRC channel myself and my partner own, had died. She used to come to my channel and enjoy herself at times and I recalled the name and seeing the nick on my channel on occasion, although I could never really remember speaking to her. She was the owner of a channel on IRC where at least two self-proclaimed "gorean men" were auctioned off of a slave block, if my memory serves, to the highest bidder (these men, of course, still considered themselves free men afterwards, as one told us, it is all bdsm fun, dontchaknow). Thinking to ease a bit of the pain of this woman's loss, I expressed my sincere sympathy on the death of her sister, and gave my best wishes to herself and to her family.

She thanked me for my concern and sympathy, and then told me something that might sound astounding to some of you out there not familiar with online Gor, but something that should not have surprised me in the least.

She informed me that she did not recognize it the first time she was killed, she just ignored it, but she decided to accept it the second time she was "IRC kill(ed)". This was a legal death, and was duly recognized by all. Things were much better for her now under this new name and channel.

I should have known better. I should have looked at the net I was on, and handed myself a clue. I should have seen the people in the channel, how they behaved, acted to one another and the slaves there, and known better. But I did not. I was simply lonely that night, out wandering, looking for some new people, others like myself who live and/or express interest in this lifestyle and philosophy in a serious manner. I was fooled, for a bit, and the fault was mine, for I more than any know that 95% of online "goreans" are gamers just like the lady above.

I told her I was sorry, that I thought she was serious, and took my leave.

She messaged me, obviously understanding and uncomfortable with my departure (and the injection of reality in her fantasy, no doubt). I invited her to #Silk&Steel on, a Gorean lifestyle discussion channel, in order that she come and chat and learn a bit about those who live this lifestyle and the harm such silly games do to them.

She told me she probably could not attend, as she was soon "travelling(sic) soon to be joined real life".

I nodded and told her that wherever she goes in her travels, I wish her well, but that she should be careful -- because in "real life" they only recognize the FIRST kill.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

It's only online...

(What follows is a reprint of a previous writing of mine that appeared in The Gorean Voice, which I co-created and served as editor for a few years. The webzine is long defunct, and the archives of the site are sadly incomplete, but it pleases me to present my thoughts then, to my audience here. As always, if you have a question or comment, use the e-mail link in my profile down there somewhere.)

"It's only online, you take it so seriously..."
"Master Bear, please may I speak, I have a problem."

"This is v/t, I just come here for relaxing in a Gorean mode..."
"...and then he beat her, Master Bear, and put her in the hospital. I just came from there.."

"It's all roleplaying, you all do it!"
"He told me I would have to be serve sexually to everyone there that night, he never said that before I 
got on the plane, Master, I was so scared..."

"It is v/t, it's not cheating, no one gets hurt, it is a fantasy!"
"She's leaving me Bear, and she says she is taking my kids."

"Gor is whatever we make it, Gor is a man deciding to do as he pleases."
"I will come to your house Bare and I will kill you and your family."

"I treat every woman I meet as a slave, they mean nothing and are nothing."
"Master Bear, I think I am pregnant, should I tell my Master?"

"You leave us alone, we see and do Gor in our own way."
"But Master, he wants me to whip him because then he says he will know better how a slave feels. Is this right?"

"Relax, it is only v/t. No one takes this seriously."
"But I think he gave it to me, Master, the doctor says I might never be able to have kids now, how can I tell him?"

It's only online...

It's only online...

It's only o...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Suggested reading

Recently, I've seriously popped my head into the online Gorean waters for the first time in years. I'd like to say it is nice to be back, but it ain't. Not much has changed for the better, to be sure.

I did manage to find a place, not tethered to any one group, where people who are still quite serious about living Gorean in this society gather and discuss issues of concern.

I point you to:

Yeah, it's a BDSM site, with all the baggage (and all the trolls) that such a place entails, but don't let it deter you. The Gorean Lifestyles board there is most certainly worth reading.