Happy Friday everyone,
This blog post is going to be a bit different than others here.
A few of you know that over the last year or so, I have been struggling with spinal problems related to a back injury. I fully expected to have surgery to help correct these issues in a month or two. I met with my neurosurgeon yesterday and the decision has been made to move the surgery up to this coming week.
What this means is that for several weeks, I will be unable to update the blog. If all goes well, while it will be several months before I can get my strength back, I should be able to get back to some normal activity before then. The surgery is not overly dangerous, and I am optimistic, but the chance for something bad happening is always there.
So, this will be the last update for a while. If the blog never gets updated again, then remember me fondly. ;0)
Many thanks to all of you who have read the blog, commented and complained, and who have encouraged me to continue to openly explore what it is to live Gorean in this society.
I look forward to being back with you all soon.
Bear-
Friday, July 15, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Please, don't feed the monkeys
(Preface 2011: Interaction on the internet is a challenge, at times. The thought that one is anonymous (which is truly not the case) allows some to behave irresponsibly. This essay, written back around 2000, addresses the issue and is just as relative today as it was then.)
Hello again,
I wrote this essay back in July, at a time when a few people who should have known better (look who is talking!) were spending time trying to debate and discuss with some who had created forums for the specific purpose of luring them in and flinging shit on them. These people, all banned from the few popular Gorean boards for their activities, deperately and transparently wanted to agitate some of us so that we would go there and the ensuing ruckus would give them them the attention denied them after they failed and/or they were rejected by the community at large.
It was easy to see the one thing that brought these twisted and sad individuals pleasure was our attention, therefore I denied them mine - although they flung shit far and wide to attract it. ;0)
Others who were standing hip-deep in the monkey cage had perhaps not thought through what was happening, and this is my essay to them, to let them know why feeding the monkeys is a fruitless endeavor.
Enjoy! ;0)
=========================================
If you feed them, they become excited and agitated. If you give them attention, they will accept it and demand more and more of it from you. If you speak with them, they will simply screech louder, throw more excrement, and try to piss further in order to splash some of their bile onto you. They seek to keep you there, talking, since being a monkey is really not a very interesting thing in and of itself. It does not mean anything, it does not stand for anything. It does not seek to accomplish anything. It is a defensive mindset simply fueled by frustration, guilt and fear.
When you trek to their cages and respond to them, you simply give them what they want - attention. You lend, through your name and time, a measure of attention and perhaps even credence, if you are not careful, to what they are trying to do. In any case, you never can accomplish the purpose you seek to achieve. You often run the risk, through frustration, of becoming a monkey yourself.
In short; You lose.
Honest, open debate and disagreement is a good thing. I have spent many years online, in a Gorean context doing so in various venues. So have many of you. A lot of it has been constructive, if rancorous and even bitter at times. Together, we have learned much, about ourselves and about living Gorean in this society. The number of adults seriously and honestly seeking to live this way has grown, due in large part to the words we share in public.
But at some point, in some places, you look down at your wet shoes and realize that some of them are just monkeys, and that their delight is not in the verbiage, the argument, the search for understanding or compromise, but rather their delight is in their ability to piss all over you and what you are, doing so openly and/or discreetly, and still keep you coming back for more.
We are unlike any other Gorean forum on the net. We do not have monkeys here. We stopped feeding them and sent them on their way. You watched it happen, from day one.
Think about that.
Those people then have created cages of their own making, where they screech and scream and whine and cry, waving their arms frantically at you and calling you by name to try to get you to come close enough so that they can simply wet your shoes and smile.
"Gor is a fantasy!", they whine.
"You are all Nazis!", they scream.
"Collar me and prove me wrong!", they beg.
"You are all misogynists!", they bleat.
The ironic thing is, we have seen this same thing all before. Many, many monkeys have come before them, doing the exact same things, for the exact same reasons. Those monkeys are all gone now. They disappeared once the food source dried up. They disappeared, once people stopped feeding them.
It is no fun for them, it seems, to be playing in shit when no one else is interested in, or cares about, being their target. ;0)
At some point, folks, if your shoes are soaked, it ceases to be their fault.
At some point, the credibility you lend them by paying attention to them starts to detract from the very thing you argue for, because they are not there to find answers, only fling shit and get as much of it on you as possible.
At some point, my friends, you have to wise up and stop making yourselves such easy, willing and accessible targets, for no worthwhile gain. ;0)
And at some point, you have to decide to stop playing thier endless, hate-filled, psychotic games. What do you do? You just go out and live Gorean and let your life amongst your peers provide the best example that there can be. ;0)
I wish you all well this sunny, wonderful Saturday afternoon.
Bear-
Hello again,
I wrote this essay back in July, at a time when a few people who should have known better (look who is talking!) were spending time trying to debate and discuss with some who had created forums for the specific purpose of luring them in and flinging shit on them. These people, all banned from the few popular Gorean boards for their activities, deperately and transparently wanted to agitate some of us so that we would go there and the ensuing ruckus would give them them the attention denied them after they failed and/or they were rejected by the community at large.
It was easy to see the one thing that brought these twisted and sad individuals pleasure was our attention, therefore I denied them mine - although they flung shit far and wide to attract it. ;0)
Others who were standing hip-deep in the monkey cage had perhaps not thought through what was happening, and this is my essay to them, to let them know why feeding the monkeys is a fruitless endeavor.
Enjoy! ;0)
=========================================
If you feed them, they become excited and agitated. If you give them attention, they will accept it and demand more and more of it from you. If you speak with them, they will simply screech louder, throw more excrement, and try to piss further in order to splash some of their bile onto you. They seek to keep you there, talking, since being a monkey is really not a very interesting thing in and of itself. It does not mean anything, it does not stand for anything. It does not seek to accomplish anything. It is a defensive mindset simply fueled by frustration, guilt and fear.
When you trek to their cages and respond to them, you simply give them what they want - attention. You lend, through your name and time, a measure of attention and perhaps even credence, if you are not careful, to what they are trying to do. In any case, you never can accomplish the purpose you seek to achieve. You often run the risk, through frustration, of becoming a monkey yourself.
In short; You lose.
Honest, open debate and disagreement is a good thing. I have spent many years online, in a Gorean context doing so in various venues. So have many of you. A lot of it has been constructive, if rancorous and even bitter at times. Together, we have learned much, about ourselves and about living Gorean in this society. The number of adults seriously and honestly seeking to live this way has grown, due in large part to the words we share in public.
But at some point, in some places, you look down at your wet shoes and realize that some of them are just monkeys, and that their delight is not in the verbiage, the argument, the search for understanding or compromise, but rather their delight is in their ability to piss all over you and what you are, doing so openly and/or discreetly, and still keep you coming back for more.
We are unlike any other Gorean forum on the net. We do not have monkeys here. We stopped feeding them and sent them on their way. You watched it happen, from day one.
Think about that.
Those people then have created cages of their own making, where they screech and scream and whine and cry, waving their arms frantically at you and calling you by name to try to get you to come close enough so that they can simply wet your shoes and smile.
"Gor is a fantasy!", they whine.
"You are all Nazis!", they scream.
"Collar me and prove me wrong!", they beg.
"You are all misogynists!", they bleat.
The ironic thing is, we have seen this same thing all before. Many, many monkeys have come before them, doing the exact same things, for the exact same reasons. Those monkeys are all gone now. They disappeared once the food source dried up. They disappeared, once people stopped feeding them.
It is no fun for them, it seems, to be playing in shit when no one else is interested in, or cares about, being their target. ;0)
At some point, folks, if your shoes are soaked, it ceases to be their fault.
At some point, the credibility you lend them by paying attention to them starts to detract from the very thing you argue for, because they are not there to find answers, only fling shit and get as much of it on you as possible.
At some point, my friends, you have to wise up and stop making yourselves such easy, willing and accessible targets, for no worthwhile gain. ;0)
And at some point, you have to decide to stop playing thier endless, hate-filled, psychotic games. What do you do? You just go out and live Gorean and let your life amongst your peers provide the best example that there can be. ;0)
I wish you all well this sunny, wonderful Saturday afternoon.
Bear-
Friday, July 1, 2011
A flaw in her training.
In which our intrepid essayist responds to one of the varied excuses that the subbies and their doms might use to deflect attention from themselves when, in pretending to be Gorean slaves, the sub exposes herself for what she is..
"It very well could be a flaw in training."
See, that's an argument that I don't buy into and never did.
If some woman is prepared to give her entire life to a Gorean owner, she damn well better have the intelligence and strength to be able to discern what correct behavior in public consists of in a Gorean context (Read The Fucking Books, or RTFB as we used to call it). It is not a matter of training, indeed, training will be hampered by such a weak-will in a potential slave. It is a matter of maturity and strength - both emotional and intellectual.
If potential Gorean slave is too stupid and weak to prevent herself from opening her mouth (or putting fingers to keys) knowing full well what she is about to do will be displeasing, then she is damaging her value and closing off many potential avenues in life that might otherwise have been open to her.
To live as a Gorean slave, most especially as we do in this society, one needs to develop three things, all concerning strength; strength of character, strength of will, strength of mind and the ability to shut the fuck up when she knows she should.
(I just tossed that last one in there) ;0)
Addendum:
Let's toss this out here. Narrowly defined for our discussion, but to the point in any case.
Strength of character: The ability to abide by her decision to surrender and all that this implies.
Strength of will: The ability to shut the fuck up and not act out when she knows her behavior will be displeasing.
Strength of mind: The ability to realize the difference between being pleasing and being displeasing.
One might think that how to behave in public in places where Goreans might be (and for goodness sake, we're just talking about ONLINE here, not even bringing the complexities of face-to-face encounters into it) would be one of the first things an owner might be sure that his property understands.
We easily see here online is that is not the case.
In BDSm circles, a "brat" is seen as a good thing. The bratty subs use the doms for their pleasure and everyone laughs and has a great time. But then, in walks an actual Gorean slave. She does not want to misbehave, she does not want to act out, she simply wants to be pleasing to the free. Many there then see how actual kajira comport themselves in public and come to the conclusion that they are weak "door-mats". Nothing could be further from the truth. To reach the level of behavior to achieve even the minimum standards as a Gorean slave, she must have the strength to have already have far outgrown her "brat" stage. Rather than control the dynamic, as the "brat" does, the Gorean slave has to be mature and strong enough to abide by the one requirement of her surrender: that it be total and complete.
If the potential slave has gotten to the point where she is willingly giving her life, possessions and everything else connected with her to her owner, and she still struggles with the concept of attempting to be pleasing, then there is a flaw in the potential slave.
A very serious one.
Unless the potential slave has the strength of mind to fuel her strength of character, which in turn manifests in her strength of will, she has very little value as a Gorean slave.
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