"Master, I want to be a Gorean slave, what should I do?"
Run. Run away now and run away quickly. Living as a Gorean slave to a Gorean man is more demanding than anything you might have encountered in your previous interest in D/s; it is most likely more demanding than anything you have ever conceived of in your life. It exacts a cost - a very high one - in terms of your present life and the comfortable and safe existence that you have crafted for yourself to live today. Few girls can do it, which is why *actual* Gorean slave girls are so prized. If you do not take my advice, if you stay and continue to log onto 99.9% of the web sites out there, I can promise you this: You will not find what you seek. You will eventually venture out into the chat areas, where you will find most of the "gorean" men are there at the beck and call of the women and remain so in the hope that they can either get some cyber sex, or that these women will consent to remain as their "slaves" so that the men can wrap themselves in a pathetic veneer of being "gorean". You will find people who will tell you that Gor is "what you make it", meaning that whatever they do is okay, and that they can excuse their own behaviour and retain their measure of comfort in their own lives, no matter how contrary to the philosophy or the traditions it may be. You will find "gorean slaves" who, in whisper and messages, will tell you which of the "gorean masters" of that place are pussy-whipped (usually all but their own "masters") and which are "real men" (usually just their "masters"). They will talk poorly of the free, gossip freely, viciously and openly in public, spit vitriol back when corrected and generally run the place from their knees. You will find "free women" online who get drunk and sign on to chat venues as slaves. You will find "gorean men" online who, using a different nick, are "slaves" to both men and women. You will find men who will beg you to send them money. You will find men who have mistaken interest in BDSM for being Gorean, who will ask you to come to them so that they might beat and harm you to placate their sadistic fantasies. You will find both BDSM and simple D/s confused with and masquerading as the Gorean philosophy. You will even, most likely, find people who will reply here shortly who will tell you that none of that happens. ;0) The truth is that you will simply mostly find sad, lonely people who take a lifestyle philosophy that they will never have the courage to honestly explore, and warp and twist it into a fantasy online that they can masturbate to. Don't believe me? Go ahead and log on. Forget Gor. Forget "online Gor". Find a friend, a mate, a lover, a husband. Find some happiness. Stop being *lonely*, it is a rotten reason to sign on and look for support. Find what you need *offline*, instead of joining the masses by using what has become a shallowly-contructed online fantasy to spice up their pathetic lives. Run. Run now and run far. If you find, however, that you are unlike the masses online who think with their sex organs, and that no matter what you do you **cannot** leave the thought of this behind (which requires knowing the difference between *NEED* and *WANT*, concepts that a whole generation is sadly lacking in understanding) then here is my advice: Go to ebay and buy the books. All of them. The bottom has dropped out of the used book market and they can be had for a fraction of what they once were selling. Nevertheless, be prepared to shell out a few hundred dollars for them. Too much? Then run. Then sit down with them and read them, front to back, in order. When you close book #25, re-open book # 1 and start again, this time taking notes and writing down questions. This may well take a year or two, if not more, to accomplish. Too long? Then run. Then seek out, if any remain, actual Gorean men and women online. How to find them? Here is a hint - you will not find many pretending to be playing in paga taverns, or accepting cyber-drinks from cyber-girls who hope that the cyber-liquor pleases the "master" down to his "soul". You will not find them thanking such cyber-girls for bringing "honor" to their "masters" simply because they can cut and paste something that they found on some web site or construct a few words into a 'serve'. You will not find them playing "gor" as a game. Frankly, there might not be any left online, by the time you are ready to give your entire life, possessions and future to a man to do with as he pleases. The risk too high that you might miss out on 'all the fun'? Worried that your "belly" might change its mind and go 'cold' and stop "burning for a man" in a few years? Then run. Run far away and do it now. Save yourself and others the time, pain and heartache. Or else most likely you will simply latch onto the gamers, be sucked in by the games and end up with a pretend "ko-lar", given by some lonely guy who begged you (or frightened you) into "wearing" it online, and wondering to yourself why, after the newness of the 'serves' and 'dancing' and "masters" wears thin, the "gorean lifestyle" you sought simply does not have the depth or heart or soul that you thought it would. It does have those things. Simply, very very few are willing to pay the cost to find them. Run, girl. Bear-
Reprinted from the 10/21/01 edition of The Bear Bitch Project.