(What follows is a reprint of previous writing of mine, some of it more than a decade old, that appeared in various places including "The Bear Bitch Project" and The Gorean Voice, which I co-created and served as editor for a few years. The webzine is long defunct, and the archives of the site are sadly incomplete, but it pleases me to present my thoughts then, to my audience here. As always, if you have a question or comment for me, use the e-mail link in my profile down there somewhere.)
Last night, she told me this.
She told me it was not fair.
She balled her hands into fists and tried to remain in control. Not without a small bit of interest, I watched her internal struggle. Her control won out, by less of a margin than she was obviously comfortable with.
She told me it was not fair.
She told me that she has come to understand, as well as she can at this point, the philosophy upon which we base our lives. She told me that she seeks to be a Gorean slave - to belong to a Gorean man - in her life. She told me that she has learned first hand that it was hard to try to live this way. She said that she could understood that idea of having to sacrifice, the cost involved in living Gorean or just belonging to one.
She told me it was not fair.
She told me that all this, all she has learned in the forums, channels and at the feet of Gorean men is a part of her now. In a wonderful way, it colors how she sees the world, her life, and relationships.
Last night, she told me this.
She said that she now understands what I meant when I told her that there are few Gorean men in this world. That she now understands just how precious a scant moments attention from one of them can be. That time spent with other kinds of men in trying to recreate the feeling of being with a Gorean man is wasted time. She is not interested in just BDSM. Those men are not what she has known. They are not what she seeks. They are, truly, are "of earth" as she has read in the books.
She told me that she cannot forget what she has learned at the feet of Gorean men. That because of the truths about herself and life in general that she has learned there she now seeks a higher standard, she wants more than to be a girlfriend to some Dom. She seeks to be a Gorean slave.
And she nearly wept with frustration that there are too few Gorean men in existence, to make her one.
She told me it was not fair.
She told me this last night.
I agreed.
Bear-
