Friday, March 18, 2011

Are all kajira doormats?

(What follows is a reprint of a previous writing of mine that appeared in The Gorean Voice, which I co-created and served as editor for a few years or on my previous blog - The Bear Bitch Project. The webzine is long defunct, and the archives of the site are sadly incomplete, but it pleases me to present my thoughts then, to my audience here. As always, if you have a question or comment, use the e-mail link in my profile down there somewhere.)

Tal, all.

"All kajira are doormats."

Do you find this to be true?

A little story behind my question.

Last night in the S&S discussion channel, a man entered and made the above statement. In the subsequent short discussion (short, because he chose at that point to change his nick to what he was known by normally in Gorean channels - a rather infamous and pitiful individual, he once called himself "gorean", but now says that he is a "straight" BDSM 'leatherboy', who once on his web page has called a gay BDSM leatherboy his "master" - for his duplicity he earned a channel ban) he noted that all the kajira that he had met online and off were so. He noted he had never met a needier bunch of females (which he somehow equated, to them being "doormats"). All of this, of course, was meant in a derogatory fashion, as this fellow has made it clear that since he cannot fool anyone and pretend to be one online, he thinks that Gorean men and women do not exist.

Which got me to thinking.

First, obviously he has met few Gorean slaves, let alone kajira. With that, he obviously knows few Gorean men, or much about our philosophy (which, while obvious, accounts for much). The fact is that a Gorean slave is whatever her owner decides she is. I can understand how that can be very threatening to those men who, in some sad way, have a need for a domme/mommy figure to balance their lives, but then not every man can be Gorean.

But moreover, in thinking about this later, I came up with two thoughts.

First, the subs of vanilla BDSM and simple sexual fetishism (which this 'leatherboy' is a part of) would fit the descriptions of "doormats" a bit more snugly, I would think, than the typical Gorean slave.

For example, I have never seen a Gorean slave girl, online or off, used as a toilet, while I have seen subs so used in BDSM circles. I have never seen a Gorean slave girl used as an ashtray online or off, with the accompanying burns, as I have in BDSM circles. I have rarely seen a slave girl whipped for the simple "pleasure" of a Gorean man without an underlying motive of correction, while I have seen this kind of behaviour as a matter of course in every BDSM gathering I have ever attended. While it is true that the sub can call it off anytime she wishes by using her "safeword", it is that fact that makes them well fit the description of "doormat" (in that she has the ability to control the dom and stop his actions as she desires without repercussions) moreso than the women I know as Gorean slaves.

Secondy, it occurs to me in the years that I have lived and owned and trained women in the Gorean philosophy (going on 19 years now), that I have never seen a wounded girl, one who was a "doormat" succeed as a slave in any sense of the word. Subbie, yes, slave, no. There are examples all over online, of girls who sought "Gor" and Gorean men, thinking that such ownership entailed total control, thereby making their lives easier. These girls have crashed and burned in their pursuit of Gorean slavery, at times taking their (love) "Masters" with them. These men too, thought that they could own a girl, who in truth, did not own all of herself before she tried to surrender. These men have paid a price for it, and continue to do so. 

The truth is that it takes a secure, strong, intelligent, creative, stable, honest, self-sacrificing adult woman to even *consider* the path to be a Gorean slave. If all a girl wants is to be used as a "doormat", then she will quickly fail as a slave - as Zeb says, the Vector of Pleasure is pointing in the wrong direction. ;0)

So why do some, who know little about slaves and Gorean slaves in particular, think of them as "doormats"?

I suspect it comes back to the same reason some in the bdsm community (although it is not limited to just that one) dislike us before they even ever meet a Gorean man or woman. That reason is a simple matter of fear. 

If we are real, if we do what we say, if we live by the codes, traditions and philosophy we do, then these people have to look at themselves and what they do, and make a value judgement - and they do not like what they see. We threaten them by simply being what they claim to be: "Masters" if you will, owners of anothers life - without the safewords, timeouts, and switching that goes on as a matter of course in their hobby.

Are all kajira doormats?

A kajira is whatever her owner says she will be. But you will find most Gorean slave girls at the feet of men, rather than under them - in stark contrast to what many of those who in their fear of us speak ill of what we are, would say.

I wish you well, friends.