Friday, December 31, 2010

License to Thrill

(What follows is a reprint of a previous writing of mine that appeared in The Gorean Voice, which I co-created and served as editor for a few years or on my previous blog - The Bear Bitch Project. The webzine is long defunct, and the archives of the site are sadly incomplete, but it pleases me to present my thoughts then, to my audience here. As always, if you have a question or comment, use the e-mail link in my profile down there somewhere.)

Little Jimmy is excited and happy today. Today is his 16th birthday and he is being taken by his mother to the Drivers License Facility in his town. He has a car, a broken-down old Ford given to him by his father that he has worked on since he was 14. Today, all clean and polished, it sits in
the driveway, awaiting the return of its young owner, who is proud to bursting of his new ability to drive. He will be responsible with it; keeping it clean, lubricated, and well-cared for, so that it will serve well him when he needs it to.

Little Jimmy is excited and happy today. Today he takes his driver's test and will get his driver's license.

Scott and Madeline are excited and happy today. Today is the day they will prepare for their upcoming wedding. Scott and Madeline have been living together for the last three years, exchanging good and bad times, along with a large quantity of bodily fluids. They have come to know, depend and love one another. They will be responsible to one another, they will care for one another when ill, hurt and in pain. They do this, so that their love will serve them well when they need it to.

Scott and Madeline are excited and happy today. Today they take their blood test and will get their marriage license.

Dan is excited and happy today. Today is the day he will go to his favorite gun shop and purchase the new Glock pistol that he has wanted for the last three months. The owner of the gun shop, despite the restrictions against it, has let him fire a few rounds through it, even though he did not have the correct identification to do so. Dan then applied for and received his Firearm Owners Identification card today. He will keep his pistol clean and well-oiled. Dan will do this so that the pistol will serve him well when he needs it to.

Dan is excited and happy today. Today he has a license to own a firearm.

Orville is excited and happy. Last night, he found a new IRC channel on the Internet, something about a tavern and "Gor". He is not quite sure as yet what it is all about. Someone there with a funny squiggle in front of their name suggested he go read a web page, but when he went
there it seemed to be an awful lot to read, so he ignored it. Hell, it is only IRC, it can't be *that* hard. Confident that he can role-play with the best of them, he 'enters' the channel and keys his popup letting others read a description of him in terms that would make Conan feel inadequate. It takes a full minute for him to type the description of all the weapons that he sets sheds next to the chair he pulls up to the bar. He puts his Reeboks up on the bar and loudly asks if any free slave girl without a collar could please serve him paga, if it is not too much trouble, please.

Orville is excited and happy today. Today, he feels he is truly a Gorean Warrior.

Doris is excited and happy. Last night she stumbled into a channel on IRC, something about "Gorean training", where all the girls were slaves and the men were doms. She was told to immediately change to a lower case nick and to kneel. She was thrilled and did so. Soon, she was chatting with the owner and his 'first girl/trainer'. They told her she was now 'in training' and would wear a collar with the initials of the channel and a little "t" after the {}. This 'first girl' explained in whispers that there was much to learn, and that they would have to get to it sometime soon, but that she should have fun and 'serve the masters' for now. Doris was not sure what this meant, but was willing to try. Doris was thrilled to be promoted fom 'trainee' to 'full kajira red silk' last night due to her helping the channel owner slay someone in another channel with his soul-sucking sword. She was happy to help, going in and causing a ruckus in that other channel.
Besides, she hadn't played Dungeons and Dragons since she was 14 and the owner was kind of cute with his pointed ears, like Mr. Spock. She was eager to learn more, but was not too worried, for the 'firstgirl/trainer' had told her that if she messed up really bad, she could always log on
with another name, claim to be her own daughter and tell everyone that "mommy" had died and therefore would not be coming back. The 'firstgirl/trainer' assured her that this would work every time and that she could then come back to "gor" with another name and again be 'slave'. Doris
wanted, in her heart, to be just that.

Doris is excited and happy today, for today Doris feels she is truly kajira.

Orville and Doris are both excited and happy. Tonight they found one another, and hit it off well. Orville begged her to 'wear his collar' in whispers, and she thought that although he did not have pointy ears, he was cute, too. All big rippling muscles. So she said: "Okay, but you can't
collar any more girls." Orville quickly agreed and told Doris he loved her and always would. Doris told Orville she loved him and always would. They prepared to make their life together, on IRC, each in their own little world. Soon, they would hurt one another, and they would lie to one
another, and they would speak ill of each other to those who would listen. Soon, Orville would accuse Doris of 'destroying his honor' when he catches her netsexing the owner of the training channel. He will be slain be the pointy-eared one, his soul sucked into oblivion forever, or at least until he can get nickop to give him a new nickname.

But tonight, Orville and Doris are happy. For they are both sure that he is a "Gorean Warrior" and she is a "kajira" and that they will always be together in love and in Gor. 

One needs a license to drive a car, so as not to cause harm to others.

One needs a license to get married, so as not to cause harm to unborn.

One needs a license to own a gun, so as not to harm others.

One needs no license to pretend to be what one is not. No matter what the danger to others

I wish you well.