Friday, June 3, 2011

After watching two subbies hiss and spit in public

Earlier this week I came across a discussion in a Gorean venue on FetLife (don't ask) where a weak dom masquerading as a Gorean man said:

"The best kajirae I have ever known, where the same one who would hiss and claw at any male who they sensed was less than dominant, for daring to speak with them while there Master was away.(sic)"

The thought obviously excited him. He and I eventually had some exchanges through the text of that venue. It did not end well.  ;0)

However, what it did also do was remind me of this piece, written years ago when I was becoming disillusioned with IRC and wandering out to various other venues to see what they held in the way of things Gorean and Gorean interaction.

It did not end well, either. ;0)

As always, I can be reached at the email on my bio.



Bear pulls up a chair... 

... grabs his bowl of popcorn and a diet Coke and checks his scorecard to see which of the two subbies these are, who they belong to, what their won-loss record is, if they like to scratch at the eyes or if they are the hair-pulling type, and if this is a set time or a to-the-death match.

(Bear munches)

You know, you powwow "masters" have convinced me! You really have! I am going to give up all this "Gorean" nonsense that I have lived for nearly the last two decades and sit here with you, and watch your subbies hiss and spit and bitch and piss and moan at one another - all done with your "permission" of course. Man, how foolish I was to waste all my time trying to be a Gorean man, when such entertainment was right here in front of me?

Why did it never occur to me before, that in order to be a man, all I need an out-of-control subbie brat or two who have no idea how to behave in public, to represent me! 


I will go to powwow tonight, find me a girl and tell her to hate someone - then I'll set her loose to cause a big ol' ruckus - all so those "Gorean" guys on IRC can see how much I *really* own my slave. Sheeee-it. I hate those guys! They think they are so smart, they think they are so much "More Gorean Than Me"(tm), well, I'll shew them! I will find me the stoopidest, meenest, cruelest, ugliest, most evil slave gurl on powwow t'night and beg 'er to take my collur! Then, when she comes out in public all hissing, scratching, biting, insultin', and spewing bile, I kin stand ready to deefend her if any of them there "goreens" dare to say anythin' bad about her. Wy not? She is speeking wit my purmisshun! I luv that shee is strong eeuff to do egsactly what she wants, whin shee wants to. Maybee, if I pik me a gud won, and I beg her enuf, she will gimme some syber-hed when she feels lahk it?

(Bear wipes away a stray tear)

Gosh, I dunt eevun knoe her yet and I luv her alreedy!

(Bear scratches his suddenly long, sloping, thick upper brow)

Go gulrz go! Smash 'em! Crash 'em! Wee wanna see blud! Stele Caje Match! Yeh! Wee knos that yu is goreen slaav gurls and wee luvs you! We is so prode of how yu repreesent us MAZTIRS heer for all to see! It wurms the cockels of are harts! It maks us *REEL MEN*. REEL MAZTIRS!

To hek with those gorreens, you giys heer cunvinsed me! This is soo much moor fun than being goreen and alot les wurk!

(Bear munches on the popcorn and looks for the remote control, so he can see what if there are any tits on Cinemax, when they break here for a commercial)